Aerial Rain
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GNU Ch 133 Part 3 – Child (III)

Huo Changyuan walked alone in the roofed corridor, feeling the cold, bitter wind whistling through the night sky. Rationally, he knew that he shouldn’t have this kind of thought, but he couldn’t help thinking — if Cheng Yujin was in Cheng Yumo’s position today, how would she handle the situation?

If it was Cheng Yujin, she definitely wouldn’t bring up words like ‘separation’ or ‘divorce.’1 Once she brought it up, it meant that she had prepared everything and was fully determined to go through with the separation. She wouldn’t attack her husband with the loss of her child, wouldn’t curse her mother-in-law in front of her husband, and wouldn’t let her husband return to a cold, dark room after a day of tiring work, not even preparing a pot of hot tea…

No, if it was Cheng Yujin, none of these would even happen in the first place. Cheng Yujin wouldn’t fight endlessly with her mother-in-law, wouldn’t cause a rift with his husband for the matter of taking concubines, and they wouldn’t lose their first child…

A sharp pain suddenly jolted Huo Changyuan awake. No, in fact, they lost their first child. The first and only son between him and Cheng Yujin in his previous life died in that icy lake. Alone, with no one by his side…

Was this his retribution? In two lifetimes, the first child he most anticipated — and actually loved the most — died so tragically.

The Crown Princess, now admired by everyone, should actually be his wife.

Who in the capital did not envy the deep love between the Crown Prince and Crown Princess? Every single clothing article worn by the Crown Prince was prepared personally by the Crown Princess. Wherever the Crown Princess went, the Crown Prince would send and pick her up in person. The two were well-matched in appearance and equally graceful in bearings. They played chess, drew pictures together, chatted freely about the past and present, and told jokes that only the two understood. Being well-matched in ability and were each other’s closest person — it was no exaggeration to say that the Eastern Palace couple demonstrated the so-called ‘Harmony’ and ‘Intimacy’ between a husband and wife to the extreme. They were indeed the most perfect model of a married couple that everyone envied.

However, these beautiful marriages should originally belong to him, Huo Changyuan.

Huo Changyuan closed his eyes in pain, forcefully shutting the surging emotions in his heart. Why did he lose his mind and break the engagement with Cheng Yujin? In his previous life, why didn’t he cherish Cheng Yujin, but cause her to die so young?

The perfect couple everyone envies should be about them.

These thoughts were like dormant beasts — once freed from the cage, they could no longer be suppressed. Many memories flashed through Huo Changyuan’s mind. He had been struggling to suppress them, but at this moment, all his effort was in vain.

In his previous life, he should not have been soft and indulged Cheng Yumo during Cheng Yujin’s pregnancy. He should not be shaken when he learns the truth and chooses to escape to the military barrack. He should stay in the manor on the day of Cheng Yujin’s delivery instead of staying in the barrack and letting her die in childbirth.

Huo Changyuan finally realized his feeling. The moment he regained consciousness in that icy cave, the beautiful and radiant girl he saw for the first time had become the goddess in his heart.

The girl was bright and beautiful, and she nodded with a brilliant smile at him.

At that moment, something in Huo Changyuan’s heart seemed to shatter. He thought he was falling in love with the girl who saved him, but in fact, the one who stole his heart was the girl he saw the morning after.

All of Huo Changyuan’s liking, obsession, and even yearning towards Cheng Yumo actually came from this. What he felt towards the girl who saved his life was not love, just gratitude. What really drove him crazy was that glimpse of a dazzling figure that he saw when he first opened his eyes.

From then on, Huo Changyuan’s memory of his savior overlapped with the goddess in his heart — so much that he was unable to extricate himself unless he married her. Later, Huo Changyuan transplanted this feeling to Cheng Yumo and mistakenly thought she was the one he loved.

That’s why Huo Changyuan was so painfully torn apart when Cheng Yumo told him the truth in his previous life. His feelings for the goddess in his heart were so sincere that he was in agony. Unable to face his wife, Huo Changyuan chose to run away. It took him a long time to sort out his feelings. Huo Changyuan finally separated himself from the past, realizing that infatuation at first sight was no match for the responsibility he shouldered. Once he realized this, Huo Changyuan made up his mind to take responsibility for his wife and their child, but it was at this time that a messenger came from the manor, informing him that his wife had passed away.

She was dead.

The pain was so much that Huo Changyuan suddenly couldn’t breathe. After questioning the messenger several times, he discovered in despair that it was true. Later, Huo Changyuan didn’t dare to face his eldest son. As long as he saw the child’s face that resembled Cheng Yujin, Huo Changyuan seemed to return to the morning when he received the news of her death, so painful that he couldn’t breathe.

The heartache that was about to tear him apart finally made Huo Changyuan understand who the person he truly loved was. The one with whom he fell in love at first sight and desperately wanted to marry was…

Unfortunately, it was too late.

The pain from the previous life seemed to be carried over to this life, and now Huo Changyuan’s chest began to palpitate. Huo Changyuan seemed to be plunged into a sea of suffering and regret. The thing he regretted the most was being absent during Cheng Yujin’s delivery, allowing his mother to make the decision to save the child instead of Cheng Yujin.

Suddenly, an intuition flicked Huo Changyuan. He raised his head and looked in the direction of the north, toward the imperial palace.

“Has her labor… begun?”

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Missing last week’s update due to sudden emergency, so here they are.

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  1. In ancient China, there were two kinds of divorce: Peaceful Separation (和离), in which the husband and wife agree to separate, and Divorce (休书), in which the husband unilaterally divorce his wife.

17 thoughts on “GNU Ch 133 Part 3 – Child (III)”

  1. Hopefully the author indulging us with this dude’s memories is only to provide contrast with Ninth Uncle’s very different behavior!

  2. I don’t see any point to this chapter, except being low-quality filler that everyone will read anyway since we’re dying to know how the birth turns out.

    Thank you for the chapter!

    1. My theory is the chapter is meant to justify Cheng Yujin not choosing Huo Changyuan even though it means there is no chance for the child of her previous life to be “reborn”…to kind of show that Yujin cannot be faulted for lack of “maternal instinct” for that child because her existence around Huo Changyuan would have been miserable just because he is an inherently miserable excuse for a human being, even when he has memories of his past mistakes…

  3. Is there a cultural thing that would make the actions in his previous life more understandable with the focus on him taking responsibility for Yumo’s chastity?

  4. But you’re still not owning up to the fact that you’re basically ruining Chen Yumo’s life the same what you did Chen Yujin is the last life???? Mama’s boys are a trip!

  5. If this is the author’s way of redeeming this SOB, I’m not buying it. He loved her so much he couldn’t bear to look at his child’s face AND ignored him? That’s BS. That’s not pain from losing your love, that’s guilt since he essentially killed her. Of course, he’s so wrapped up in his world that he didn’t realize until too late that his “beloved” son died… once again another “loved” one dies and he realizes he loves them 😒😒😒. He obviously didn’t love them enough to care until they left.

  6. I do wonder why their son was not raised by his grandmother, particularly because HCY didn’t remarry right away. As the firstborn son, I would think he would have his grandmother dote on him ridiculously as she had his father.

    1. No that’s the thing though. The previous son was so doted on that he became a spoiled waste. With no one to educate him, he grew up unsuitable to be an heir. No one blames Cheng Yumo too because she gave him “all he needs”

  7. Huo Changyuang deserves no pity. If he truly regretted, if he had a conscience, he would have cherished their son
    His son was the only legacy of CYJ, the wife that he abandoned and he claimed to love.
    If he truly realised his feeling and regretted, he should not have abandoned their son and let him be wasted.
    Both of his sons were killed by him.
    He destroyed the life of 2 young women with his indecisiveness and selfishness, his indulgence towards his sick mother.
    A mama boy is the worst choice of a husband.

    1. Besides that, he’s and egocentric chauvinist who will put women always way below himself so no matter how much he loves CYJ or CYM there’s always that barrier.

  8. Knowing these thoughts of his and that he knows he messed up in the past, makes him even more trash in this life. Even if it’s not CYJ, he has the chance to be a good person to his wife CYM but he still isn’t. Still letting his mother rule everything and continues to be chauvinistic pig.

  9. It’s kinda interesting to see Huo Changyuan perspective for the past life, but he still deserves what happened to him in this life, especially since he still makes the same mistakes and still doesn’t change for the better. Just the fact that he still doesn’t think that his mother is doing nothing wrong is the best evidence for that.

    It’s also ironic and almost sad that Cheng Yumo thought that getting a second chance was a blessing for her, but in the end remembering their past lives has become a kind of purgatory for her and Huo Changyuan.

    It is almost as if Cheng Yumo only remembered her past life, so she could give Cheng Yujin a convenient excuse to get out of her unlucky engagement so she could find someone who will make her happy.

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